The Shackled Man

There's a concept floating around Christendom and also American culture. I don't know if the one got it from the other or through different means. Since it doesn't have a term that I know of, I'll call it the "Shackled Man."

Here's how it goes. With the atrophy of the American family and the Christian family, some folks call for the man to spend quality time in the home, time invested well. Others will say it can't be just quality, there needs to be quantity. Our wives and children might not be able to abide our schedules and so we need to be there for them when they need us and that requires a lot of time.

Both of these ideas have merit...to a point, but when those ideas begin to metastasize or morph out of proportion, they lead to the "Shackled Man." When we become so preoccupied with quantity time and quality time, we can easily lose sight of the work that God has for us to do and often we abdicate that responsibility. Our families have become our idol.

Consider the men of the Bible. As Israel entered the Promised Land, two and a half tribes left their families across the river until the land was conquered. This was not accomplished in a day, a week, or a month, but though not specified, we get the idea that they were gone for many months to accomplish what God had called them to. So it was during the seasons of war that Israel faced thereafter, and it was one such time when David fell into adultery and murder.

What of the apostles? We know that Peter was married. As he followed Christ around, he and the other apostles did not bring their family along. They speak of leaving all to follow him (Luke 18:28). Yes, we see that they did get home, but they were gone for long stretches of time.

I spent the two nights recently watching "God's and Generals" with my sons. Great movie about the commencement of the Civil War, but also a great illustration of a man who loved God, who loved country, and who loved family but compromised none of them. That man, Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson understood, as did his wife, that there were times when he must leave his family to do the duty God had called him to do, that of defending their homeland. Months passed between times that Jackson could be with his bride. His only daughter was born while he was away at war.

Translating this to today, most would be aghast at a man who would leave his family behind for any time. Shame on the man who is not there for his child's birth. Woe to the man who misses an athletic season not to mention a single game! Many, in making their family an idol, have become Shackled Men, bound to their family by sinful perspective, and neutered in the things of Christ

Consider the men who immigrated to our nation, the men who worked two and three jobs to provide for their family. I'm not talking two or three jobs for a bigger boat but just to get food on the table or to have a roof overhead. It is a huge sacrifice that men must make for the work God calls them to, for something outside themselves.

That sacrifice might be to establish a family, and it might require two or three jobs. To defend freedom, it might require absences of days, weeks, and months. To do what God has called you to do (me to do) almost always requires sacrifice or getting out of our ruts and routines.

We are men. Upon our shoulders and by our blood come the rich blessings of life. Am I willing to forsake all to follow him, to obey him? To my shame, I know I have not done so in the past. It is only through our obedience to God and what he has called us to that our families, our wives and children, will be truly blessed. Christ went on to tell Peter and the disciples, "Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or parents or brothers or wife or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who shall not receive many times more in this present time, and in the age to come eternal life" (Luke 18:29-30).

Do not forsake quantity when it is available to you! Make the time God gives you with your wife and children quality time. But don't let yourself become a Shackled Man who has made his family an idol, a man unwilling to travel the hard roads God asks him to travel.

When called to, go out and slay dragons!