"Merge, everybody, merge!"

If you become deluded about the nobility of man's basic nature, you have only to drive on a city highway to become resobered to the fact that we're closer to "The Lord of the Flies" than "The Lord of the Rings."

There's an overpass in our town where many are merging in from the right while many in the flow need to get over to the left to exit. The merge/exit takes place within about a quarter mile.

If you are already established in the right lane going up the overpass, you're set. Folks coming in from the right to merge have to yield to you. Folks to your left have to either move ahead of you or work in behind you. At rush hour, two-thirds of the folks are looking to exit, even those who are just merging.

Because of this dynamic, it's the perfect crucible for human nature.

Today, I witnessed a red pick-up 1) accelerate to force the merging traffic to slow/stop, 2) reaccelerate to disallow an accelerating woman in the left lane to position herself for an exit, and then 3) once established on the long sweeping exit, slow as if to exult himself as Lord of the Off-Ramp.

My head almost exploded watching this.

Why do we do this? Why is it when we get into our mechanized cage we devolve into some hideous troll? "HAH! YOU CAN'T GET IN! HA-HA!" we conquer. "I'LL BE A GIRL IN A TUTU IF I'LL LET YOU BEAT ME TO THE OFF-RAMP! HA-HA!"

Repugnant, rapturous rudeness. It's hideous...and we love it! And it spotlights the darkness of our self-absorbed souls.


At the same time, don't hesitate to honk at the fools, gentlemen. Yeah, I know about road rage, and the likelihood that you'll get the redneck salute. Carrying will alleviate a few of those fears, but at the same time, it's poor citizenry to not police our own. If we don't, entropy (sin) will continue to make mayhem of our motorways. I'd just soon my bride NOT have to deal with knuckle-draggers like that when she's toting around the girls (and her little friend).

With a tip of the hat to Brian Regan, "Merge, everybody. Merge!" Ease off, make some space, and show your brother a little grace. (Sorry)