One flesh

This spring, my eldest two sons will walk down the aisle into holy matrimony, and I have to tell you, I'm stoked!

Tracy and I have prayed for these girls from the day we learned she was pregnant.  Granted, until we caught sight of our sons' plumbing, it was the generic spouse, but even on the grainy ultrasounds of yesteryear, we soon started praying for their wives.  We don't know their fiances as well as they do, but we could not be more pleased with the lassies the Lord has provided for our sons.

And why so stoked?  Because after nearly a quarter-century beside my bride I can say with a Christmas giggle that I would take any year I found myself in with her over all the preceding years.  I do not say that boasting.  As you well surmise if you've followed my blog for any period of time, I am a hard man to live with.  How richly blessed I am that I have a woman who does not keep score, a woman who loves me with a God-honoring love and seeks my very best.  At the same time, and with near-perfect imperfection, I attempt to love her as Jesus loves the church and gave himself up for her.

What has happened over the years?  We have become more and more what God intended in husband and wife, that we would become one flesh (Genesis 2:23-24).  By submitting ourselves to God and his designs, when we seek to be the groom or bride he would have us to be instead of demanding from the other the groom or spouse we want them to be, he (God) has crafted in our relationship something marvelous, something unique, something fulfilling, something exciting.

Please don't misunderstand.  We have issues.  We have come out of a most challenging season.  At the same time, there are no exits on our airplane.  There are no parachutes.  If we start getting smoke in the cockpit, we'd better figure out how to put it out.  We have worked through challenge upon challenge but always with the commitment to the Lord and to our marriage and thereby, to one another. 

What are we promised tomorrow?  Nothing.  Should we awake side by side, each new day together depends upon our commitment to one another.  50-50 fails.  Only when a spouse is willing to risk 100% can they know the kind of relationship God intends within marriage.  Only in losing their life will they find it.  Those who want to hold fast to their wants and desires will end up embittered and disillusioned.

Too many quit their vows in the early years because the white-hot passion wanes.  More and more, couples are quitting their vows after decades.  Newer model?  Dissatisfaction?  Frustration?  Too often one destroys the relationship by seeking relationship outside of marriage.  Not always.  Most of the time.

My boys know this.  They have seen it.  But they've also seen couples who have committed for the long haul.  They've seen the sweet fruit that grows from a tree that has put roots into a solid and nourishing foundation.  They know they have no guarantees in their marriage beyond the choices they and their brides make each moment of each day.  They know that their garden will flourish only so long as they tend it.  The longer the garden matures, the more beautiful the garden will become.  If left untended, it will become weed infested and unrecognizable.  As they ready themselves to walk the aisle, they commit themselves to God and to their bride that in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, forsaking all others they will tend to the sweet garden God has given them.

Should God grant me and my family twenty-five more years on this earth, I look forward to seeing what they have cultivated.  Until then, I'm off to mow my lawn.