The five-year old "Why?"

Much of the anarchy in public schools today rests squarely upon the shoulders of the parents who have ill-disciplined their children.  Demand no standard of conduct in the home and you make it quite challenging for Mr. Mathteacher to demand a held tongue or focused attention amidst his lecture on the nuances of the null set.

Parents began giving teachers children ill-prepared for the classroom when they jettisoned the principles of biblical discipline for the pop-psychology du jour advocating self-esteem over self-discipline.  Rather than restrain the toddling tyrant with a loving dose of corporal punishment parents ceded the reign of their domain to their child leaving their home and subsequently the schools to look like the whirlwind they had sown.

One of the ways parents have neutered themselves is by feeling the need to explain to Little Joanie the reason behind everything she is told to do.  Newsflash:  when a child is told to do X by the parent, the only acceptable response is to accomplish X right away, all the way, and with a good attitude (a "happy heart").  Allowing the child to delay the task's completion by asking "Why?", while paying you as much attention as a brussel sprout, feeds and corrupts the inquisitive nature of the child.  Kids want to explore.  They're discovering the world.  The first half-dozen years of a child life ooze magic and wonder as adventures and discoveries dot the landscape.

Really, though, do they want the rationale behind why their socks belong in the dirty close hamper instead of decorating the floor of their bedroom?  When told to go to bed, do their hearts ache to hear the biological and spiritual need for the human frame to rest? NO!  They have discovered the means to delay the inevitable.  Ten more minutes of play become twenty.  Perhaps Mom will even forget the initial command and pick up Little Joanie's socks herself.  Cool.

Cutting to the core, if a child does not do what he is told by one who has authority over them, they have rebelled, conscious or not (this assumes that they knew how to and were able to accomplish the given task).

One of the best tidbits of parental advice I ever received dealt with the "why" question.  It ran something like this.  When your child asks you "Why?" when they are told to do something, you tell them that they may not ask "Why?" when told to do something.  They must do.  Right away.  All the way.  And with a good attitude.  Anything but will be met with appropriate discipline.  Once the task is accomplished, then and only then, if the question still remains in the child's heart as to the deep secrets as to why a specific task was demanded of them, may they ask (with respect and honor) "Why did you want me to do that, Daddy?"  99.9% of the time, you'll never get the question.  They really don't care.

There are legitimate why questions.  The other night, my five-year old daughter asked, "Why can we only see part of the moon sometimes?"  It had nothing to do with a command she was given.  Her wonder had turned toward the heavens and she truly wanted to know.  Plunge in, Dad, and feed her curious appetite.

The why-principle remains in the teen years, too.  "Hey, Dad, can I...?"  As a parent, it's important that I understand their request.  Ask questions.  Follow up.  Get the whole picture.  Some questions will require time and prayer.  It might require you to counsel with someone else or search God's word.  After objective consideration, decide.  When you decide, your decision stands.  Your child (under your authority) has one response.  Abide that decision right away, all the way, and with a good attitude.  No "buts" or slammed doors.  No rolled eyes or deep sighs.  They might not like it, but that's life!  That's the real world, and my job as Dad is to prepare my kids for the real world. 

Here's where communication enters the picture.  If after a day or so they would like to know the rationale behind my decision that they carried out, they are free (with respect and honor) to ask me that very thing.  Perhaps the ensuing discussion with my child will cause me to amend such decision in the future.  Perhaps it will help them see clearly the foolishness (if so) behind what they wanted to do and the wisdom (hopefully) behind my counsel.

Walk the halls of most schools.  How many of the kids have been taught to respect the decisions of those in authority, principals and teachers, coaches and counselors?  What a blessing it would be to those in leadership if they encountered young men and women who, when receiving an unpopular or distasteful decision from on high, abided that decision with as much fervor and respect as if they had gotten what they had wanted!  Instead, they deal with deception, disrespect, surly attitudes and blatant disobedience.

As parents, let's squash the why-question, unless of course our kids are asking about the moon.

Fasting

Consider fasting the lost Christian discipline. Go ask five friends of yours who call themselves Christian how many times they have fasted within, say, the last five years. Too big a stretch? Tighten it to the last year. If the number is greater than zero, I would be surprised. Not pointing a finger. Just looking in the mirror.

For something that's mentioned on over a dozen different occasions and for something that Christ expected of his disciples (Matthew 6:16), fasting has all but evaporated in the church.

The unchurched fasts. You hear about celebrities fasting in conjunction with Eastern religions or to rid their system of "inorganic poisons." The wrestler fasts to drop weight. Actors will fast to emaciate themselves for a role. So what gives in the church?

Last evening my pastor, Lukus Counterman, took a rabbit trail off of his Sunday morning teachings on the Sermon on the Mount to teach our church what God's word says about fasting. Awesome! It's a tight, twenty-five minute message that you can listen to right now by clicking here. (No fee. No viruses. No future e-mails from our church...we're too small).

If you'd like to download it, follow these steps (again, all the "No's" above still apply):

1. Go here
2. Scroll to the bottom to the sermon titled "When Ye Fast"
3. Right click the link
4. Select "Save Targe As"
5. You can then save the 6 mb mp3 file to your computer to then download to your iPod or whatever

For any facing trials, considering major changes in your future, facing danger, determing God's will, or dealing with sin, Pastor Counterman's biblical insight on fasting will be a fruitful listen.

The days ahead look grim for America.

Economically, we've plunged into the deep end of the debt pool. With ankle weights. And wearing a flak vest.

Internationally, we've shaken hands, bowed to the waist, and kissed the posterior of most every evil dictator on the planet.

Militarily, we've cut so deep our machines are decades older than the people operating them.

Socially, we're ruder, cruder, and prouder than a boar in the rut.

Morally, we're back-stroking in sewage and savoring the stench. Horror movies have become snuff films. Music lauds satisfying any sexual deviance. Literature has gone the way of the dodo.

Long term, America might power out of this; short term, things look mighty grim.

What has brought on this full-scale entropy? We refuse to say, "No."

Civilization necessitates a healthy recommended daily allowance of the word "no." The more we say "no" to ourselves, the fewer laws we need. If I restrain myself, isn't a 30 mph sign a bit absurd for a residential neighborhood? "Duh!"

Parents today refuse their children nothing. Rather than the child getting to a level of rebellion and the parent laying the board of education to the seat of learning, the child continues to crank up the octane of their tantrums until they break the will of their parents. Game, set, and match to the four-year old brat.

To teach a child that the sun doesn't orbit their little noggin' and that all of humanity is not at their beck and call, parents must introduce them to "no" and to the discipline that arrives at its violation.

Educators will not and some cannot fail students. "What would that do to their fragile psyches?" So we graduate morons with the work ethic of Paris Hilton. Or is that redundant?

To reestablish sanity in our schools, teachers and principals must be allowed to establish boundaries and enforce them. They must be allowed to use the word, "no."

Employers cannot fire employees. Government refuses to let corporations die a natural death because people might lose their jobs thereby creating an unmotivated (or European) workforce.

Say "no!" Fire a worker or two and see how productivity picks up. If it doesn't, fire a few more. It's amazing what can get done when the workers actually want to be there. Not going to happen with unions blocking the way.

And, oh, our indulgent obesity (I say this after gaining twenty pounds). We can't deny ourselves another Twinkie or a second Big Mac. At least we're washing it down with a quart of zero-cal Dr. Pepper. If I get too large to walk, I can join the Ride-a-Cart 500 at the local Wal-Mart. Pedestrians on the right. Bubba-buggies on the left.

You can say "no" (Keith!). It's a good thing. Pounds drop. Smaller trou. New wardrobe (or back to the old one). Longer life expectancy. Fewer medical problems. Your knees can actually support you.

This inability to say "no" has infected the church, too. I'm not surprised to see stuff outside the church like "Go With Your Gut" seminars and "I Can Do It" conferences, or writing books like "It's All About You" (all real titles). It's the lie of Satan, "You, too, can be a god." This heresy has infected the church. When talking about sin gives way to salving the soul, when doctrine gives way to drama, when plainly teaching the truth gives way to bringing 'em in with production, then the church has ceased to be the church. It's become no more relevant than a junior high pep rally at best, and at worst, it stands as an apostate enemy of God.

You want "your best life now?" Don't pick up the heretical book that title by America's favorite charlatan. Pour yourself into what God tells you in His word. And He says, "No." No to adultery, extra-marrital sex, or non-husband-wife relationships. No to murder. No to stealing. No to gossip, slander, and libel. No.

Christians might query, "Isn't everything "yes" to us in Christ?" (referencing 2 Corinthians 1:19-20). For those who have already come under the lordship of God in Christ, they know enormous freedom, but all the junk in the previous paragraph remains contrary to God. The difference is now, as a believer through the working of the Holy Spirit, the Christian has the power and desire to obey. They are yoked to Christ and follow His direction and guidance. They are indwelt by God the Holy Spirit. As they submit to God, He guides them in all truth and righteousness. To establish a church and worship service on "yes" paints a false picture to those who live in rebellion to God or those who have accepted Christ as Savior for only a short time and still struggle with the issues of the "old man" who fights against the things of the Spirit.

As a country, as individual churches, as individual Christians, we would do well to reacquaint ourselves with "no." If we refuse, our race to irrelevance will only accelerate on all levels.