Facing reality

The other day I was chatting with my daughters about a friend of ours who has cancer and who has been told by the doctors that her time remaining is short. She is dying. I looked at my seven-year old who heard that information with as much interest as if I had just described a political debate, and asked her, "Do you know that you're dying?" Her eyes focused and she screwed up her face with that "Dad, don't be such a dork" look that your kids sometimes get. You'd have thought I told her we were flying to Neptune tomorrow. I explained to her the certainty of death leaving taxes for another time.

Some might consider me cruel or at best macabre for telling my seven-year old little girl such a thing. "Why, she'll have nightmares!" I don't think so. You see, my little girl has the same confidence that my dying friend, Nancy Anderson, has.  Read what Nancy posted on her CaringBridge Journal recently:

I am confident that I will go to heaven.  This has nothing to do with me being a good person.  Lately a lot of people have given me an abundance of love and affirmation about the value of my life and the positive impact I have had.  This is important to me, and it encourages me.  God created us to live significant, impactful lives. But when it comes to goodness, there is no meaningful scale. Basically there is God and there is us.  He is good.  We are made in his image, but we are marred by the brokenness of sin.  He is in a completely different dimension when it comes to goodness.  I love the verse in 2 Corinthians 5:21 which says, “God made him [Jesus] who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 

I love the analogy that trying to reach God through my own goodness is like trying to swim from here to Hawaii. Some really great swimmers might make it several miles, while others would have to bail much earlier, but no one is going to make it to Hawaii. In the same way, my only hope of heaven is that I have a Savior who will take me there.

Some folks rail upon Christians for being exclusive. We are not. We simply declare what God has declared to us in his word.  Jesus said with crystal clarity

I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

~ John 14:6

An audacious claim. It is either absolutely true or it is absolutely false. Shortly after John documented his account of Christ's life in what we have come to know as John's Gospel, he wrote a letter. Therein he makes more audacious claims:

What was from the beginning, what we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we have looked at and touched with our hands, concerning the Word of Life--and the life was manifested, and we have seen and testify and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was manifested to us--what we have seen and heard we proclaim to you also, so that you may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father, and with His Son Jesus Christ.

~ 1 John 1:1-3

Those words jump out. John is testifying as though he were in a courtroom as a witness. He is speaking of what he had seen and declaring what was manifested (made known) to him. Again, either his testimony is true, or he is daft.


I can hear you say, "There have been a lot of folks that have said they are speaking for God." That's true. But John was with Christ. He heard, saw, and touched him, and John states that Jesus is the payment for our sins, our rebellion against and hostility toward God (2:2). But John goes even further. He makes plain that if you don't believe him, it's not him you disbelieve but God.

The one who does not believe God has made him a liar, because he has not believed in the testimony that that God has given concerning His Son.  And the testimony is this, that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son.

~ 1 John 5:10-11

The audacity continues in the next verse. "Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life."


How serious is this? Nancy is dying, but so are you. She just happens to know that her death is close at hand. For her, death is not something to fear because she knows with certainty that she will live forever in the glorious presence of God, not because of what she has done but because she believes that what happened to Jesus Christ on a cross 2000 years ago credits to her. It's that same confidence my daughter has.


It's the same confidence you can have, too. Consider it.

But a vapor

In the drizzly pre-dawn of January 16th, 37-year old Terri left home for her morning run.  She died when struck by a pick-up driven by a man on his way to work.  He never saw her.  A tragic accident.

Late in the evening of February 9th, Kevin went to work on his job as a cable repairman.  While hoisted high in the air to work on an elevated line, a drunk driver struck his truck and threw Kevin from his bucket.  He died from the fall.  Kevin was 38.  It was his son's birthday.

Last fall, Jim retired from a distinguished career in our nation's Air Force.  On Friday night February 12th, he went to bed but did not wake up on Saturday morning.  Jim was 49. 

Remember how short my time is;
For what futility have You created all the children of men?
What man can live and not see death?
Can he deliver his life from the power of the grave?

~ Psalm 89

When we lived in Arizona, the locusts would shed their skins all over the side of our stucco home.  They looked substantial, but pinch them between your fingers and they disintegrated.  How fragile our lives.  How thin the veil between life and death.  We appear so strong, but in a moment...

He remembered that they were but flesh,
a wind that passes and comes not again.

~ Psalm 78

 
On March 13th, my second son will marry the love of his life. One month and four days later, my eldest son will tie the knot with his beloved.  I have not been promised to see the joy that will spread across their faces when they behold their brides bedecked in white, prepared specially for them.  Nor have they been promised to see that day.

For he knows our frame;

he remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.

~ Psalm 103

If you have not gone through such seasons, you will.  They cannot be escaped.  What will the seeding of such sorrow precipitate in our lives?  Will we reject our God?  Will we turn to sex or scotch?  Will we withdraw or lash out?  God himself, through a psalm penned by Moses, guides us in the dark night of our grief.

So teach us to number our days

that we may get a heart of wisdom...
...Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.

~ Psalm 90

Such have been my days of late.  Not complaining.  That's just the way it is.

I look forward to the morning.

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The ninetieth is a breathtaking Psalm to meditate upon if you happen to find yourself in such a season (here).

Photo by Tyler Pond

Terri

A wretched experience.  In a tick of the clock everything changes.  The oxygen is sucked from the room.  Everything on your plate gets swept into the trash and the plate shatters against the concrete.

Saturday morning, my bride sat reading God's word while I prepped some homemade waffles.  Just enjoying the quiet of the morning before the kids rousted looking for their gridded goodness.  The quiet broke when she received a call from a network of friends to pray for a woman who had been in a bad accident while running.  Her name, Terri Otto.  Terri and her husband, Dave, are good friends. 

I immediately began to dress to run to the hospital and be with Dave.  My son stumbled from his bedroom saying that he received a call from the wife of a co-worker of mine saying Dave had been trying to get in touch with me.  I remembered that my phone had been sitting on my night stand. 

I rushed to the bedroom to learn I'd missed two calls from Dave that morning.  I hit the call back.  An unfamiliar woman's voice answered.   Sobbing.  "We're all praying right now.  Terri just died."

Tick.  Crash!

That was five days ago.  Many of you know the rest of the story.  Many of you don't.  Perhaps I'll tell it another time.  My point here is to provide a consolidated location about what's been written and broadcast about a woman who loved her God and was used mightily by him.  She honored him in life.  And in her death, at her memorial, God was greatly honored, too.  To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.  We ache the absence and rejoice in expectant hope at seeing her one day again before the throne of God.

Here are a few links in sequence:

Sunday - Newpaper on the accident:  here
Sunday - TV news coverage of the accident:  here

Moday - TV news on memorial donations:  here

Tuesday - Obituary:  here

Wednesday - Newspaper on the impact of her life:  here
**NEW** 
Wednesday - Audio from the memorial service:  here
Wednesday - TV news piece on the memorial service:  transcript or video

Funeral home tributes:  here
Funeral home obituary:  here

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Terri was passionate about her work with the Pregancy Help Center in Wichita Falls.  Dave has asked that if you would like to donate a memorial on behalf of Terri to do that to the Pregancy Help Center in her name or to the Air Warrior Courage Foundation on behalf of the children's education.  Follow the links below.

• Pregancy Help Center of Wichita Falls
• Air Warrior Courage Foundation

Triplets

Vacation should be a time for letting your mind relax, savoring the vistas as a thousand miles of changing vistas pass between Texas and Wisconsin, but as the statelines ticked past, I could not help thinking about three American icons slipping into eternity.

In the span of two days, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays all came face-to-face with their Maker. Their lives continued to pop into my mind as mile followed mile.

Farrah Fawcett exploded into American libidos on Charlie's Angels and as a swim-suited pin-up that has never been rivaled. Her fame of the 70's translated into limited commercial success in succeeding decades. She remained steadfast with her live-in, Ryan O'Neal, and bore him a number of children. Farrah's final decade found her in a fight to the death with cancer. In the heat of the American spotlight, she died.

Michael Jackson hit the scene about the same time Farrah did, earning his fame as part of The Jackson 5. Many thought of The Jackson Five as a black answer to the Osmonds, but when both bands dissolved, Michael's talent remained. He completely changed the face of music, video and dance, but for some still unknown reasons he marred his own visage into the mask of some circus clown. Out of the spotlight but trying to get back in, Michael likely died trying to silence his demons with drugs.

Billy Mays. Ten years ago, I'd never seen the man. Five years ago, I couldn't tell you his name, but would have remarked, "Isn't he the Oxy-Clean guy?" From obscurity into the white-hot of American fame, the seemingly genial and 0ver-loud pitchman erupted into the American commercial. With speed just as sudden, he died. At fifty. The same age as Michael Jackson.

More mileposts race by. Such a sudden cluster of deaths can't help but make one consider their own mortality. Why did she die? Why did he die? What is God saying in all this?

Even the One who knew the answer to such questions would not reveal it to His followers. When asked about a governor who was murdering his charges, the King of kings responded by stating that it wasn't necessarily for more grievous sin that these had died. He then dipped into another current event of the day by stating that the eighteen crushed under the weight of a structurally deficient tower had no greater corruption than the next guy.

But--and this is pivotal--such events, said the Lord of all, should bring us to a point of self-examination and repentance before a holy, righteous, and just God. "Unless you repent you will all likewise perish." We all will face death, and repentance will not forestall death. Repentance before God and an accepting of the finished work of Christ will prevent the second death, a death of unmitigated and eternal horror.

As Solomon closed Ecclesiastes, he encouraged, "Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth before the difficult days come..." And then to drive the final nail in his treatise, he said,

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His
commandments, for this is man's all. For God will bring every work into
judgment, including every secret thing, whether good or evil.

Farrah, Michael and Billy have all slipped into eternity. In a few weeks you will have forgotten them, perhaps to think about them one more time this year when the end-of-year look backs on all who died take place. In this season with their deaths fresh in your mind, perhaps a bit of repentance is in order. Perhaps a lot.

Before you know it, another hundred miles slip into your review mirror.

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UPDATE: This morning, I read where Karl Malden died. He passed from this life at age 97! He was the large-nosed, chapeaued police lieutenant on "The Streets of San Francisco," the TV show where Michael Douglas, Kirk's son, got his start. He was superb as Omar Bradley next to George C. Scott's eponymous "Patton," and he earned an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in "A Streetcar Named Desire." Sadly, many will only know him for "don't leave home without it." He died in the quiet of his home after a long life and an outstanding and unsoiled acting career. What a difference.

QotD: "Icon" misused

Today on National Review's blog corner, Jonah Goldberg, author of Liberal Facism, considers the media fawning over Michael Jackson. The gist earns QotD honors:

"If anything, Michael Jackson's life, not his death, was tragic."

It's a sober assessment of Michael Jackson's life (read it here). Consider:

• From a family who, if they'd hit their stride in 2009, would be the subject of some macabre reality series.
• Became a sensation with his brothers as part of the Jackson 5 in the 70's.
• Oozed talent. Oozed good looks.
• Tried to put himself off as a friend to children while having one of the most sexually suggestive stage shows ever seen. Today it would be fare for the Disney Channel.
• Altered those incredible good looks and realtered them until he became something out of a 50's horror movie gone awry.
• Married Elvis Presley's daughter. Divorced less than two years later.
• Drugs (pain medication) became a natural part of his life.
• Another marriage, this to his dermatologist, produced two children, a son and a daughter, and it, too, lasted less than two years.
• Mega-debt replaced his mega-millions.
• He sired a third child by a surrogate.

Phenomenal talent. To what end? "And the rich, young man went away exceedingly sorrowful..." An "icon?" Ought not be.