Saturday, April 24, 2010

An open letter to Christian dads

Yeah, sorry.  Limited audience.  You're still welcome to read along, but you might not track with my tack.

Guys, remember the days of our youth when our eyes easily got snapped by a lass dressed in a manner that provided clear advertisement of all her wares?  What's that, you say?  You still have issues with that?  Oh, yeah, I'm talking to guys.

God created women to attract men.  What gets us?  The eyes.  It surprises maybe .00097% of Christian men that Job made a covenant with his eyes to not gawk at the gams of the girls.  The rest of us nod, "Smart man."  It doesn't surprise us that Jesus declared that if we look at a woman with lust in our heart, we'd committed adultery already.  Really, we already knew that, though we didn't mind the false loophole we'd concocted.

The world we live in does not make it easy to keep our eyes properly focused.  T-shirts no longer hang; they cling.  Necklines that at one time graced the hookers and behind-the-counter periodicals made their way onto the red carpets exposing the lion's share of Hollywood's starlets.  Those necklines now walk the halls of high school.  The girls are oblivious.  To them it's just fashion.  To guys, it's the kerosene and the match to their libido.

It bothers me, but it doesn't surprise me, that unbelieving women dress in such a manner.  What shocks me to silence is when Christian parents (dads) let their daughters dress that way!

Whoa, Keith, aren't you diving deep into the pool of legalism?  Maybe, but hang with me a bit longer. 

First, guys have a responsibility to guard their eyes.  Job did that (Job 31:1).  So must we.

Second, I can cite you no chapter or verse that defines appropriate hemlines or necklines, but I can give you a few principles to indicate a woman's responsibility to not cause men opthalmic problems.
  • A woman's indiscretion is not seen as a character bonus (Proverbs 11:22)
  • The indiscrete woman can derail a man's quest to walk rightly (Proverbs 6:25-28, 7:10, 23b)
Paul warns the Thessalonian church to abstain from sexual immorality (1 Thessalonians 4:3), but he goes on to state that each, men and women, are to tend to themselves so they they do not wrong their brother or sister in this matter (4:4-6).  It doesn't say it, but principally it would include how we dress.

No, women don't have to dress frumpy.  No, I'm not calling for burqas.  Men, you might think your daughter looks great, and she might think she's flashing the latest fashions, but other men are going to think your daughter looks hot.  Big difference.

Here's a suggestion.  Consider the "folding chair."  Can your daughter sit in a folding chair directly across from a guy (perhaps in Sunday school, perhaps during worship) and not cause him major issues everytime she shifts?  If not, her dress or her shorts are causing her brothers in Christ issues of eye, heart, and mind.

What about tops?  Go back to the "folding chair."  Can she bend down to pick something up and either not fall out or not provide a clear visual down to her navel?  If she can't, she might want to consider another top.  I have no guideline for clinginess, but you probably get the idea there, too.

Today's fashions make this tough.  Most prom dresses have three-square inches more fabric than the average swimming suit, and most of them violate the up and the down of the "folding chair."  While difficult to find beautiful and discrete fashions, they do exist.  Put forth the effort.

Men, help your daughter guard her purity.  Wouldn't you rather have a son-in-law who is more overwhelmed by her character than her cleavage?  At the same time, teach your sweetheart how to help her brothers in Christ guard their purity by honoring them with her attire.

Please.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Excellent commentary... this coming from a mom of all boys.

Jori Gramzow said...

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!! I am constantly fighting this issue with girls in the youth group. AS a suggestion to those low cut tops or tops that are not 'Low cut" but a girl's build can bring cleavage in view, I wear and suggest to my youth girls a tank top, one size smaller than their normal size.... worn BACKWARD (you can't tell, bu tit is cut HIGHER in the back!) worn UNDER the "offending" top. Still looks adorable, but things stay covered and do not "fall out of place" when bending over. I have converted several of the girls!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!! Praising God for your constant wisdom Keith. Hug the wife for me!!!!!!